Module 3: Give & Take vs. Threats

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“If you liked BeCool: Coping with Difficult People, you’ll love BeCool: Give & Take. This new program teaches adolescents how to negotiate lasting resolution of interpersonal disputes…skills they’ll use all their lives.” -Susan Simon, Principal

Teach your students Conflict Resolution and the clear advantages of using give and take ethical negotiation over force, threats, and manipulation to settle differences.

Infants negotiate for what they want from authority figures by either crying or throwing a tantrum. Unfortunately, by adolescence, many children continue to use the same techniques.  In this module, your students will learn a more effective way to work out agreements and settle differences with people in authority. They’ll learn the importance of establishing an atmosphere of respect and how to negotiate a mutually beneficial agreement–the only kind of agreement most authority figures will consider.

The major components of the negotiation process are presented in a series of video scenarios in which one character tries to reach agreement with another using three different negotiation approaches—a “HOT” (aggressive) style, a COLD (passive) style, and a “COOL” Give & Take style. The negative consequences of the manipulative HOT and self-defeating COLD approaches are then illustrated, along with the positive consequences of the mutually respectful COOL Give & Take approach.  The COOL Give & Take approach is outlined in three easy steps: Gather Intelligence, Set the Mood, and Make a W.I.S.E. agreement

In the first scene, students will learn something they probably have already figured out–that changing the rules at home can be tricky, especially with parents who know what’s best. Your students will see how Robert tries to change the rules to be allowed to go to a party and stay out past curfew. First we see him try a COLD, pleading approach that his mother responds to with emotional blackmail. After an attempt at HOT negotiation, Robert finally remains calm, shows respect and continues to negotiate.  Part 2 underscores the concept that setting differences with authority figures requires respect and the negotiation of an agreement that considers both sides. The use of threats to try and influence anyone is simply a bad idea. After two false starts, your students will see Justin use the powerful win-win technique to convince an employer that even though he’s a kid, his part-time job should pay better

The BeCool Paradigm is research based and truly works.



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