Module 1: Give & Take vs. Demands

Home » Module 1: Give & Take vs. Demands


“It was very effective. If I were queen of the world, I would require all schools to use it regularly!” – Gretchen K. Fuchs, Counselor, Burnet

Teach your students Conflict Resolution by showing them how to negotiate, instead of escalate, their differences!

Living, working, and dealing with others means give and take. Being able to meet another person halfway is essential to long-term resolution of conflict and a fundamental ingredient of lasting personal relationships. Being able to negotiate differences without giving too much or taking too much is critical to emotional health and social success.  This module introduces your students to the BeCool: Give & Take Negotiation plan. It’s a model for negotiating agreements that is used by top-level negotiators in all walks of life and one that your students will use all their lives.

The major components of the negotiation process are presented in a series of video scenarios in which one character tries to reach agreement with another using three different negotiation approaches—a “HOT” (aggressive) style, a COLD (passive) style, and a “COOL” Give & Take style. The negative consequences of the manipulative HOT and self-defeating COLD approaches are then illustrated, along with the positive consequences of the mutually respectful COOL Give & Take approach.  The COOL Give & Take approach is outlined in three easy steps: Gather Intelligence, Set the Mood, and Make a W.I.S.E. agreement.

In this module, your students will learn that there are more effective ways to settle differences than making demands. Simply stated, using various demands as a negotiation style translates into “my way or the highway.” It is ineffective and engenders bad feelings. Generally using demands in a negative way does not work. This module guides students through a process that teaches them how to negotiate disagreements reasonably and fairly. They are introduced to the concept of win-win negotiation and will see how this approach benefits both sides. Win-win agreements depend on using an external standard of fairness that is convincing to both parties. The goal is bringing both sides together with an agreement that is mutually beneficial without having any demands. Your students will see Kenny, after trying to get a real steal on the video game his friend is selling, use this fairness principle to negotiate the sale. In each vignette, students see their peers stumbling at first and then resolving tough situations by being COOL.

The BeCool Paradigm is research based and truly works.